All50 – Page 3 – RobPRocks.com

April 9, 2020

All 50 States Day 18: Louisiana!

All 50 States Day 18:

Louisiana!

I first set foot in Louisiana after a show at Southern Arkansas University in Magnolia, AR, but that trip didn’t include a show or an overnight stay in Louisiana so according to my rules it doesn’t count! Which means my official first visit to the state was done in style when I performed in the New Orleans Comedy Festival in 2000!

I did a couple of sets in that festival, one at a cafe called True Brew, which I don’t think is there anymore, and another set at the House of Blues. It was so cool to be on the stage at the House of Blues, and even more cool to be able to hang out backstage. Aside from the funky decor the wall in the green room is filed with tiles bearing the names of bands that have performed there, and slashes for how many times they had.

My friend Cayne, who’s from New Orleans and whom I met when we were both doing comedy in Chicago, was there for the fest as well and he showed me around a bit. He took me to a great spot for a gospel brunch buffet where I had my first authentic gumbo experience. I also tried raw oysters and a bunch of other great food on that trip.

I went back to New Orleans for a recreational trip the next year, meeting my sister, brother-in-law, mom and step dad, where I saw more of the city, had more great food, and heard a ton of great music.

My only other Louisiana experience was in Dec. 2001 when I played Louisiana Tech up in Ruston, LA, flying into Monroe for the gig. Flying in those months after 9/11 was pretty intense, but I remember the show being fun and well worth the trip.

Backstage rockin’ with with tiles from Foo Fighters and Cheap Trick. The Creed tile photobombed, 2000
Couching backstage at House of Blues with funky decor, 2000
On stage at House of Blues in the New Orleans Comedy Festival, 2000
Kickin’ it in the French Quarter, 2001
Hot Dog vendor, 2001

April 8, 2020

All 50 States Day 17: Kentucky!

All 50 States Day 17:

Kentucky!

My most recent run-in with Kentucky was in the middle of a crazy trek across the eastern midsection of the country back in 2010, when I went from a gig at U.S.C. in Columbia, SC, hit Asheville, NC the next night, stopped in Nashville for a set the following night at Zanies, and then dropped in to Louisville for a night before a heading to a couple of college gigs in Illinois. Nicholas Anthony, with whom I had recently worked in Vegas, was living in Louisville at the time and we met up, hung out, did sets at the Comedy Caravan, and hit an art show and a bar.

My favorite show ever in Kentucky was a few years before that in Louisville opening for Carlin at the Kentucky Center for the Performing Arts in 2007. It was the 3rd in a series of 3 consecutive shows that took us from Erie, PA to Columbia, MO, to Louisville.

My first experience with Kentucky was during my first ever road gig: in 5th grade traveling to Nashville for a competition with the Waukegan Grade School Orchestra. We even stopped at Mammoth Cave for a tour before hitting Nash Vegas and coming home with a gold medal.

I’ve played several colleges in the state but just about all of the college shows I did in Kentucky were in the first years of my college touring career, from about 1995-2000. I therefore don’t have precise records of when and where the shows were (all my old contracts and physical calendars are in storage, I think), I doubt I have any pictures.

Off the top of my head I can remember names like Berea College, and names that sound familiar when looking at a list of Kentucky colleges include Centre College, maybe Morehead Sate? I know for sure that on Jan 16, 2001 I did two college shows in Louisville, an evening show at Bellarmine College and a noon show at the University of Louisville. I distinctly remember the U of L show being a typical noon show with a loud, inattentive audience in a large student union open area. That show specifically got mentioned in my Life as a Comic episode on noontime college shows cuz I blew some of the money I made on that show on upgrading a rental car in LA to a convertible Trans Am. Thanks U of L for being a terrible audience, cuz that was a sweet ride!

Me on stage at the Comedy Caravan, 2010
Louisville bar, 2010
State line on I-65, 2010
a few frames later, mile 0 on I-65. Check out that rolling shutter!

April 7, 2020April 7, 2020

All 50 States Day 16: Kansas!

All 50 States Day 16:

Kansas!

Did you know there’s a Pittsburg in Kansas? It’s in the southeast corner of the state and I had a gig there in 2002 which was sandwiched between a gig in West Virginia two days before and Shippensburg, Pennsylvania two days later. I always joked that my agent just assumed it was the other Pittsburgh.

In addition to beautiful Pittsburg—no ‘h’—I’ve done shows at The University of Kansas in Lawrence, Emporia State, Fort Hays State, and Baker University. I remember an issue with the accommodations for the Emporia State gig, the school booked me at a Bed & Breakfast that I had to pay for and when I arrived the house was in the middle of a renovation and didn’t look very welcoming on account of it looking totally haunted. I checked in to a hotel and when I called the B&B to cancel they wouldn’t let me, so I had to drive to the B&B, pay for the night, and go back to the hotel.

I’m sure I did a show in Salina back in the 1995-2000 era, which is before I started using a digital calendar so I can’t go back into my records to confirm when and what school. There might have been other Kansas shows in those days as well.

I also had a random corporate gig in Topeka a few years ago for a garden supply trade show. There were even some stone cold Mennonites at that show, from a farm and garden store in Missouri. They actually listened to about half of my set before deeming me a heathen and fleeing to save their souls. Also, after the show there was a pair of women’s underwear on the floor, I have no idea what that was about. I sometimes joke that my material is a real panty-dropper but it’s more of a figure of speech.

If and when I dig out my old paper calendars from storage I’ll be able to add those earlier college gigs to the list There might be at least one family trip in there too, my great aunt Sally lived in Lenexa for a while and I know I stopped in to see here while touring the state.

Musical bonus: I wrote a song called “I’m as Broke as Kansas!” It’s a southern rock jam about dogmatic right wing fiscal policy bankrupting education!

Here are the few pics I dug up that I can confirm were taken in the state:

SpookyCreepy B&B in Emporia
Abandoned greyhound track near Pittsburg
Abandoned underwear after show in Topeka

April 6, 2020April 6, 2020

All 50 States Day 15: Iowa!

All 50 States Day 15:

Iowa!

I went to Iowa early and often in my comedy touring career and the first NACA convention at which I ever showcased was in Iowa (Cedar Rapids, if memory serves). It was the Upper Midwest regional in ’95 where I performed a 20-minute set in front of the student activities boards of most of the colleges and universities in the region, which lead to a lot of block booked shows over the next few semesters.

In those first touring years, from 1995-2000, I went to every corner of the state, from Westmar University in LaMars, Waldorf College in north central Forest City, to Mt. Mercy and Coe College around Cedar Rapids. One of my earliest gigs was at Central College in Pella, Iowa, home of their namesake windows and a big-time annual tulip festival.

In this millennium I’ve been back to Iowa for shows at Drake University in Des Moines (after which I went to see the AAA Iowa Cubs), and I played the Englert Theater at the University of Iowa in the amazing Big 10 college town of Iowa City. I dropped in for a set once at the Des Moines Funny Bone, a top midwest comedy room, and stopped by the Field of Dreams when I was in the area for a show at University of Dubuque. Sadly I can’t find my pictures from the Field of Dreams, but I did track down a selfie I took in Eldon, Iowa, in front of the house made famous in Grant Wood’s American Gothic. Most importantly, I’ve made a couple of pilgrimages to the Surf Ballroom in Clear Lake, the venue where Buddy Holly, et al. played their final concert.

To get to shows in Iowa I’ve driven through snow, ice, rain, and the strong fertilizer smell of late spring. I’ve also had to cross the state several times on my way to other gigs, and the interstate arteries of I-35 and I-80, crossing like the letter t in Des Moines, were well known to me for several years.

selfie in front of American Gothic House

Selfie at American Gothic House in Eldon, 2008
Englert Theater at U. of Iowa, 2010
The Iowa Cubs, 2007
Amana Colonies, 2010
Surf Ballroom Polaroid, 2007?
Selfie at Surf Ballroom monument, 2007

April 5, 2020

All 50 States Day 14: Indiana!

All 50 States Day 14:

Indiana!

I’ve done a few laps around the Hoosier State mostly doing college shows, everywhere from the big names like Indiana University in Bloomington and Notre Dame in South Bend, to smaller schools like Wabash College in Crawfordsville and Hanover College in Hanover.

I’ve also hit the big city of Indianapolis for some drop-in sets at the Crackers Comedy Clubs while doing shows at Nap-town area colleges like University of Indianapolis. Fun story: alums of Indiana U. are very particular about it being “Indiana University” and not “University of Indiana” so when I tried to tell a friend I had just done a show at the University of Indianapolis I couldn’t even finish my sentence because he said “it’s Indiana University.” “’Napolis!” I shouted. “Indianpolis is the name of the school! I know where I was!”

I like Indianapolis and I’ve met some wonderful people there. It’s also where you go to appear live on the popular syndicated morning radio show Bob & Tom, though they ask you to not do too many local references because they’re syndicated coast to coast and I guess don’t want to remind people in places like Spokane that they’re listening to two dudes in Indiana. I only appeared on Bob & Tom once, back in February of 2007 and it was right after they got back from going to the Super Bowl, in which their Indianapolis Colts defeated my beloved Chicago Bears. They were wiped out from the travel (or hungover perhaps), I was surly from the loss, but I still had fun on the show.

In the photos for this post I had to dig in to some old video files and grab some frames, and this post marks the first appearance of frames from my Life as a Comic video series, which I did on and off from 2006-2010. The series showed what life on the road was like for a working comic and there are a couple of frames from an episode chronicling a show I did at Vincennes University in April of 2006. I also grabbed some frames from FlipCam videos I took at a show at Ball State in Muncie in 2010 and some B-roll shots of me driving through snow (complete with cracked windshield!).

April 4, 2020April 4, 2020

All 50 States Day 13: Illinois!

All 50 States Day 13:

Illinois!

Illinois is the only state in the country I didn’t have to travel to because I was born there, though I don’t remember it because I was quite young. I was born and raised in a small industrial city called Waukegan, which is on Lake Michigan north of Chicago, just shy of the Wisconsin border and about halfway between Chicago and Milwaukee. You know those idyllic Chicago suburbs from the John Hughes movies in the 1980s? Waukegan isn’t one of them.

Waukegan is more of a working class city with an industrial past that brought in people from all over the world. My dad was born in an Armenian neighborhood that boasted several Armenian grocery stores, and a couple of Armenian churches, including a small one founded by my grandparents. The town is where I went to public school, started playing the cello, did some plays and musicals in high school, started playing in bands, and got decent enough grades to get a partial scholarship to a school somewhere else.

I came back to Illinois after college and lived there a few more years, temping while playing in a band, taking classes at Second City in Chicago, and performing at comedy clubs. That time in Chicago starting out on my comedy career is one of my favorite eras of my life (it’s not a wheel, it’s a carousel! <sniff>).

I get back to Illinois as often as possible to visit family and to do shows when I can. In addition to the comedy clubs in Chicago, like Zanies which is thankfully still there, I’ve played clubs downstate in Bloomington and Peoria (fist road gig ever!), and even did a one-nighter at a bowling alley in Carbondale. College-wise I’ve played too many to list, but a wide variety from IIT, DePaul, and Columbia College in Chicago, to Illinois Weslyan in Bloomington, Augustana in Rock Island, Bradley Universtiy in Peoria (oh, I can play Peoria!), Eureka College (where Ronald Reagan went for like a year!) and more.

I’m trying not to give my life story here but it’s my home state! All right, fine, here are the pictures:

Me, in the light blue blanket, kickin’ it with my homies
Chillin’ and grillin’ in Waukegan
There’s always room for cello! (Thank you, public school string program! Support the arts!)
The Steppingstones at Cabaret Metro, Chicago, 91 or 92ish?
Performing at the Improv in Chicago, 95ish
At Zanies, Chicago with Gilbert Gottfried
Performing at Hitchcocks with the guys from Ectomorph at the record release party for Don’t Crowd the Plow, 1995
I made the kiosk at Illinois Weslyan! 2010
Performing with a broken hand at Augustana College, 2011
Chicago skyline, one of the 1st pics ever taken with my Canon PowerShot, my first decent digital camera. 2001

April 3, 2020April 4, 2020

All 50 States Day 12: Idaho!

All 50 States Day 12:

Idaho!

Though I didn’t have any shows in Idaho on my first big trek through the Northwest back in ’97 I did spend a consequential off night in Boise. It was the night I decided to cut off my distinctive super-long hair, after an unsolicited suggestion from an off-duty stripper.

During that first trip I had a film camera with me and took a couple of pictures in the state, including one of a dormant wooden roller coaster in the off season. Since there was no geo-tagging on the old school film cameras it takes some work to figure out where the pictures were taken, and luckily the name “Silverwood” can be seen on the roller coaster. Still in operation, Silverwood Amusement Park lies alongside U.S. Highway 95 north of Coeur d’Alene, Idaho, in the skinny northern reaches of the state. I must have passed the coaster as I headed south from Hwy 2 (The Great Northern) after my show in Havre, MT.

Another picture from that roll is from downtown Boise, of an art deco building that, thanks to more visible signs and google sleuthing, turns out to be called the Hoff Building, which was built in 1930 as the Hotel Boise. That’s not where I met the off-duty stripper.

On subsequent trips to the northwest I did in fact play some shows in Idaho, including Albertson College outside of Boise, and North Idaho College up in beautiful Coeur d’Alene. In back-to-back years (’02 & ’03) I played shows at Idaho State in Pocatello, and after one of the shows I was treated to my favorite karaoke rendition of “Girl From Ipanema,” sung by two Brazilian exchange students who eschewed the lyrics on the monitor and sang the song in Portuguese.

No pictures of karaoke night exist, and the only other image I found in my archives from Idaho was a random picture of my hotel room in Pocatello. At the time I was taking pictures of gaudily designed hotel and motel rooms, I have no idea why. I guess that’s how I entertained myself on the road before we were on the internet 24/7.

Oh yeah, the off-duty stripper story: I was staying in Boise on an off night and I stopped in at a rock music-friendly bar I probably found by going through the local indy arts paper (that’s how we found stuff before Yelp). It was a slow weeknight with just a couple of regulars when a young, attractive, very dolled up woman made a big entrance. She announced her presence with a big hello, bright red lipstick, a leather jacket, and a low-cut shirt offering ample WonderBra (it was the 90s) clevage.

She proclaimed she was back from Seattle, hadn’t visited Boise in forever, and was incredibly busy dancing in the big city. I kept to myself as she made the rounds catching up with the regulars and she eventually sat next to me for a minute to ask me what my deal was. I said I was a musician passing through (I prefer claiming musician as my vocation over comedian, it leads to fewer follow up questions). We chatted for a minute and then she offered, “you’d be a better looking guy if you cut your hair, it’s dated.”

The day I cut off the long hair, April, 1997

Now that’s not the only reason I cut my hair the day after I got back to Illinois after that trip, but it definitely was that little extra kick in the vanity I needed to take the plunge. As a performer it’s more than just fear of change, drastically altering your look leads to the eventual expense of getting new headshots and promo pics. In fact, when my college agent at the time asked for more headshots to send to schools and I said I needed time to get new ones because I had cut my hair, there was dead silence on the other line. During that silence I realized that he viewed my long hair as a selling point, a crucial feature of my marketability, more than my musical or comedic talent.

I have since gone from shaggy to short, and from short hair to the current buzz cut, because I love reinvention (and my hair keeps getting thinner). But reinvention is good. I’m like Madonna, but, you know, a guy. And a comedian. Oh, and I can’t dance. But other than that…

April 2, 2020April 2, 2020

All 50 States Day 11: Hawaii!

All 50 States Day 11:

Hawaii!

The U.S.’ 50th state was also my 50th state! I was stuck on 49 for several years and was wondering if I’d have to resort to going there on vacation and doing an open mic just to say I’d performed there. But in 2010 not only did I finally landed a gig in Hawaii, the show was on my birthday! The wonderful people at B.Y.U. Hawaii brought me in for a show on their campus on the north shore of Oahu and I flew in a week early to try to see a bit of the state.

My week in Hawaii started with a weekend in Honolulu where I stayed in Waikiki Beach and explored the city. I poked around the beach, hit a couple of parks, and had a Mai Tai at the Outrigger Reef hotel where one of my sisters had her first big singing gig about 20 years prior.

When planning my trip I had to decide if I wanted to island hop, and if so, which island to I hop to. I chose Maui because I wanted to do some snorkeling and Molokini, a small crescent shaped island formed from an ancient volcano cone, is just off the coast of Wailea. I stayed up the shore in a groovy older motel called the Aston Maui Lu*, in a great town called Kihei. I checked out Iao Valley State Park, sang karaoke at a restaurant bar, and sailed on a catamaran for a snorkeling trip. Sadly it was too windy for the catamaran to navigate the Molokini crater, but I got to snorkel in some great reefs, saw a sea turtle, and the crew threw up the sail in the strong winds and I got to experience a pretty thrilling ride.

I flew back to Oahu the day before my show at BYU Hawaii and a couple of very helpful and friendly students met me at the airport and drove with my up to Laie, where they treated me to the infamous local dish called the Loco Moco—a hamburger patty served over a plate of rice and covered with a friend egg and gravy.

The show on my birthday was so much fun and was a great way to wind up an amazing week. The audience included students and people from town, and after the show the student activities advisor told the crowd it was my birthday and they all sang “Happy Birthday” to me to end the night. After the show I hit the hotel bar—oh, I didn’t even mention, they put me up at Turtle Bay, the resort where they filmed Forgetting Sarah Marshall!

So yeah, I had a great week in Hawaii and it was a memorable way to check all 50 states off of my to-do list. I am looking forward to returning and seeing more islands.

Top Row, left to right: Waikiki selfie with Diamond Head in background; Color Polaroid of Maui sunset; Getting my Hunter S. Thompson on while sailing in Maui; Molokini crater.

Middle Row, left to right: Iao Valley State Park with quality lens flare, Snorkel selfie; swimming selfie in Kihei; Laie Hawaii Temple in Laie, North Shore of Oahu.

Bottom row: Rocks at Waimea Beach and yes, I jumped! Polaroid of a shrimp shack at a shrimp farm on the North Shore of Oahu.

The late, great Aston Maui Lu Motel in Kihei, HI

*when going back to find the name of the groovy motel that I liked so much in Kihei I started poking around on google maps in the area to read the names of the hotels, sure I would remember it once I saw the name. I couldn’t find it. I switched to satellite photo mode. I saw a large, bulldozer area of land by the beach, a construction site.

The spot was labeled “Maui Bay Villas by Hilton Grand…” and I had a sinking feeling that the funky mid-century motel I dug so much had been bulldozed for a new corporate resort. I searched my old emails for a receipt to get the name and address of the motel: The Aston Maui Lu at 575 S. Kihei Rd.

I entered the address in google maps and it put the pin right smack dab in the middle of the construction site. Turns out it’s a friggin’ timeshare slated to open Spring of 2021.

google map construction site — Former site of the Aston Maui Lu Hotel

Fare thee well, Aston Maui Lu! You were a dope, classic motel with nice grounds and kick ass pool.

April 1, 2020

All 50 States Day 10: Georgia!

All 50 States Day 10:

Georgia!

My rule of not counting a state if your only visit is changing planes at the airport still stands; BUT, it turns out the only picture I can find that I’ve personally taken in the state of Georgia was taken in ATL during a layover. I was on my way from a show the previous night at Fitchburg State College in Fitchburg, MA to a show that night at Embry-Riddle University in Daytona Beach, FL (we call that “bad routing”).

But I have been to Georgia for real, I swear! I performed in the New Year’s Eve show at the Punchline in Atlanta on Dec. 31, 2008. When I searched online for evidence of me being in the lineup I even found a video of the club manager promoting the show! Turns out he didn’t mention any of the acts performing in the upcoming show (great marketing!) but he did joke about regretting his decision to hire a little person to play Baby New Year the previous year (I’m not even making that up).

I also played one college in Georgia: Brenau University, on February 20, 2005, and it’s one of the few schools whose swag t-shirts have survived to this day. Since Brenau is a predominantly women’s college with a strong dance program my plan was to wear the t-shirt here in NYC with the hope that various dancer alumnae see it and strike up a conversation. My plan has yet to come to fruition.

The picture from the airport is of a jazz poster that I liked. As someone who’s constantly making flyers for music shows I like to take visual notes of things that appeal to me. The performer in the poster is Rashaan Roland Kirk, a musician who could play multiple saxophones at once and also played flute (including on Quincy Jones’ Soul Bossa Nova, a.k.a. that campy song from Austin Powers).

See? You learn things by traveling!

March 31, 2020

All 50 States Day 9: Florida!

All 50 States Day 9:

Florida!

The second “road gig” I ever did was in Florida! In 8th grade I got called up to the high school orchestra for their trip to Orlando because they needed some cellos to round out the ensemble. We flew to Orlando over spring break, had a day at Disneyland, won a silver medal in the competition we were there for, and I bought the t-shirt you see in my High School freshman class picture.

So no, that picture wasn’t actually taken in Florida, but apparently I liked that shirt so much I needed to brandish it in my yearbook for all to see. And did I mention it’s actually a half t-shirt? It was the 80s, we wore things like that.

I have since been back to Florida for many shows. Early in my touring days I did a couple of weeks at the Comedy Corner in West Palm Beach, where I featured for a young Kevin James and a bitter Judy Tenuta (different weeks). I’ve also performed at a bunch of colleges, including Florida State, University of Central Florida (at an outdoor spring festival where I followed a metal band and preceded Less Than Jake), Embry Riddle University in Daytona (where I took a couple of extra days to visit the Kennedy Space Center), University of West Florida way over in Pensacola, and Rollins College in Winter Park.

Florida has also been the embarkation point for several cruise gigs I’ve done in the past few years, departing from Port Canaveral. I’ve even taken non-comedy trips to Florida for a friend’s wedding, a couple of weekend getaways, and since my sister moved to the Tampa area a couple of years ago, family visits!

I still haven’t been to the Florida Keys yet, but I’m sure my Buffet days are ahead of me.

High school freshman year school pic
Crowd at UCF for spring festival show, 2002
Cruise Ship with Kennedy Space Center in background, 2019
Selfie with a rocket, Kennedy Space Center 2010
B&W Polaroid of Rocket Garden at Kennedy Space Center, 2010
Me in Ybor City, Tampa, 2019
Me at a spring training game in Lakeland, 2020
Miami Beach hotels, 2007

March 30, 2020

All 50 States Day 8: Delaware!

All 50 States Day 8:

Delaware!

Well, I knew that eventually there was going to be a state I didn’t have a personal picture of. I’ve been to Delaware, I swear! I can still write about it, but I won’t have much to put on instagram <frowny face>.

Keep in mind my rules for counting a state: I’ve had to have performed in the state or spent at least a night there. With Delaware, anyone who’s driven from New York City to mid-Atlantic region cities like Baltimore or DC has driven through the tiny northern tip of the state near Wilmington, but that doesn’t count!

I know of at least two college shows I’ve done in Delaware, the University of Delaware in March of 2001 and a small college called Goldy Beacom College in Wilmington in January of 2003. For the latter show I remember going out to a local bar & grill after the show and seeing an acoustic duo cover band and it was the fist time I think I heard the Jimmy Eat World song “The Middle” all the way through. During the second chorus I joked with the people at my table that if it strictly followed the rules of a pop song it would go to the bridge. It did. During the bridge I said the next rule of pop songwriting is breaking it down for the third verse, and sure enough the song breaks down for the third verse.

I’m not saying this is a bad thing! Standard song structures become standard because they work!

Also, I was reminded by my note in the google map of past gigs I put together (check it out here) that the show at Goldey Beacom didn’t have a sound system, I had to play completely acoustic in a multifunction room. the fun of putting this project together is all the little details!

March 29, 2020

All 50 States Day 7: Connecticut!

All 50 States Day 7:

Connecticut!

Ah, Connecticut, you crazy Nutmeg State that I have to pronounce “Connect-i-cut” in my head to spell correctly! You’re so close to my home base in Brooklyn, NY, and yet so far!

With its little southwestern dog-leg reaching toward New York City, the Connecticut border is a mere 37 miles from downtown Brooklyn, which makes places like Norwalk and Fairfield accessible for day trips, easy weekend escapes, or even (shudder) the reverse commuting day job. I’ve spent some summer days in Fairfield with friends at a beach house belonging to one of their families, and I’ve also performed in Fairfield at both Sacred Heart University and Fairfield University.

Other colleges I’ve played in the state are Connecticut College in New London, Albertus Mangus in New Haven, and U Conn in Storrs, where I met a second cousin and her family after the show. Turns out I have relatives there!

Two of my appearances opening for George Carlin took place in Connecticut, one at the Klein Memorial Auditorium in Bridgeport on March 13, 2008, and the next night at Foxwoods Casino. I have vivid memories of both shows, the beauty of the Klein auditorium compared to the ‘beauty’ of downtown Bridgeport, and having a conversation with Carlin backstage after my set at Foxwoods, when he told me about “Failing: A Very Difficult Piece for String Bass” and thought i’d like it. He said he’d send me a CD of it after the trip and sure enough I got a CD in the mail a week later with a post-it note on it that simply said “from George Carlin.” He was right, I liked it.

And there’s even something from Connecticut that remains in my everyday life: my gold sparkly Music Man Stingray bass that I record with regularly. If you’ve heard any of my self produced albums since 2004, you’ve heard the bass I bought on eBay and drove to Connecticut (either Danbury or Waterbury, I’m trying to verify) to pick up from a music store. The purchase was against the wishes of my girlfriend at the time and in hindsight her opposition should have been a huge red flag. I mean, look at that thing! It’s magnificent!

Foxwoods Marquee, 2008
Ritch Duncan and I, proud of our grilling skillz, 1999(?)
With the Student Activities board at UConn, 2011
Shot of me looking all LL Bean on Fairfield Beach, 2000(?)
The lovely Merritt Parkway in autumn, on a drive back to NYC from gigs in Vermont, 2008
The epic and amazing gold sparkle Music Man StingRay bass! Purchased in 2002, pictured here in 2020.

March 28, 2020

All 50 States Day 6: Colorado!

All 50 States Day 5:

Colorado!

Transfers at Denver International Airport don’t count! I only count a state if I’ve actually spent a night there with feet on non-airport grounds. Them’s the rules!

I was able to check Colorado off of my to-do list early in my touring life with a gig at Northeastern Junior College in Sterling, CO, a flat and dusty railroad stop in the Northeastern corner of the state.

I’ve also been to Denver for a few odd gigs, and when I say ‘odd’ I mean it. One was a corporate gig for Comedy Central at a regional cable provider convention that was set up on the concourse of Coors Field (not during a Rockies game). A magician and I took turns performing on a stage somewhere beneath the right field grandstands.

Another Denver gig was a promotional campaign for a liquor brand. The promotion involved wheeling a portable sound system to different bars so I could pop in and do a quick ambush set of music while aspiring models sold flavored shots. That gig (which also took me to Milwaukee and Cleveland–glamorous!) was mostly terrible but there was one stop at an outdoor plaza in downtown Denver that was fun because I was set up like a street musician and people actually listened. To this day I tense up every time I see a bottle of Pucker.

Other college gigs in Colorado include Colorado School of Mines and Technology in Golden, Adams State in Alamosa, and Ft. Lewis College in Durango, which is a lovely former mining town in the southwestern part of the state. That last gig was during the school’s Homecoming weekend, which included a large bonfire and me hosting karaoke after my set. I don’t remember if I sang the song “Light My Fire” but I should have.

March 27, 2020March 27, 2020

All 50 States Day 5: California!

All 50 States Day 5 takes us to:

California!

A lot of people in the performing world do a stint in southern California at one point or another but I got mine out of the way early by going to U.S.C. to get my undergrad degree. They were kind enough to give this Midwestern kid some financial aid and I didn’t even have to pretend to be on the women’s rowing team! I got to study fiction writing with T.C. Boyle, started doing standup in campus shows and then open mics and clubs, and I met great friends while getting a solid education.

I had visited California a couple times before college; my mom had family there and my dad knew just about every Armenian in Pasadena, so I had seen cities from El Cajon to Modesto (Mom’s side) and Pasadena to Hollywood (Dad’s side). Those trips included the obligatory visits to Disneyland, Universal Studios, Knott’s Berry Farm, And Ben Frank’s diner.

As a performer I’ve taken several trips back to L.A. and the area, performing at area clubs, including one of my favorite comedy clubs in the country: The Comedy & Magic Club in Hermosa Beach. I’ve performed in San Francisco, opened for Lily Tomlin at the Montalvo Arts Center in Saratoga in Silicon Valley, and even did a show smack dab in the center of the San Joaquin Valley in Visalia, California.

It was hard to pare down my California photos to just a few, so here is a ridiculous assortment:

Family trip, early 80s
U.S.C. Graduation with Mom
Downtown Orange, CA circa 1998 (in front of building that was the appliance store in That Thing You Do!
World’s Biggest Thermometer in Baker, CA, late 90s
Joshua tree, late 90s. Tried to find the spot on google maps but THE STREETS HAVE NO NAMES!
Hiking in Los Padres National Forest, 2007
Thumbs Up For Nature! Literally. That’s the file name of this picture. Because I’m a doofus.
Pic of a pic of me in Downtown LA, 1998, my most recent trip to Cali.

March 26, 2020March 26, 2020

Arkansas—All 50 States Day 4

Day 4 of my All 50 States chronicle takes us to…

Arkansas!

I got to Arkansas early in life because my maternal grandmother lived there on and off and eventually retired in Rogers, AR in the northwest corner of the state. When I would road trip back and forth from Illinois to L.A. for college, visiting Grandma in Arkansas would be one of my social calls on the way, along with Mom in Texas, and friends at ASU in Tempe.

In my touring days I’ve done a bunch of shows in Arkansas, all colleges and universities, including University of Arkansas campuses in Little Rock, Pine Bluff, and the main campus in Fayetteville. I’ve also performed at Southern Arkansas University in Magnolia, Lyon College in Batesville, Arkansas State up in Jonesboro, and possibly my favorite name of the bunch: Ouachita Baptist University in Arkadelphia.

coffee mug — Arkansas swag! Mug from Ouachita Baptist University!

In fact, I liked the words Ouachita and Arkadelphia so much that the mug the student activities board gave me has survived multiple moves and outlived most of the school swag I received over the years.

March 25, 2020March 25, 2020

Arizona—All States Day 3

All 50 States Day 3:

Arizona!

I’ve been to and through Arizona a lot of times but it remains the only state I’ve never performed in. I hope it’s not personal. My first experience with the state was driving through, between Texas and California, which I’ve done 4 or 5 times, so I’ve seen every inch of I-10 in the state. I even stopped at The Thing, a roadside attraction somewhere between Tucson and New Mexico.

While in school at USC in Los Angeles I would visit friends at ASU in Tempe during my junior and senior years, where I caught a USC-ASU football game, had wings at the (in)famous Long Wongs, and had a dude who I’m sure was wired on cocaine insist I listen to a Spin Doctors song over and over.

Back in 2009 I was visiting my fellow comedian Mike Siegel in L.A. and we took a road trip to Mesa, Arizona to catch the Cubs in a spring training game. The Cubs game also happened to be the only place where we were able to get an Old Style west of the Missouri river because you can’t have Cubs baseball without Old Style. Ya just can’t!