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May 11, 2020May 11, 2020

All 50 States Day 50: Wyoming!

All 50 States Day 50:

Wyoming!

Though I went through the states alphabetically, Wyoming is a pretty good closer, especially since my pictures from the state come entirely from Yellowstone and Devils Tower. I’ve only played two shows in the state, at a community college in Sheridan in the late 90s, and at the University of Wyoming in Laramie in 2007. My visit to Yellowstone was in 2003 when I was in Bozeman for a summer orientation show at Montana State. I flew in a couple of days early and the orientation director and I took a trip to Yellowstone, a weekend that included the first day of summer when it of course snowed.

My first time through the state came in ’95, before a show at Black Hills State University in Spearfish, South Dakota, a town so far west it’s only 12 miles shy of the Wyoming border. On my trusty Rand McNally Road Atlas I could see that Devils Tower, in the northeast corner of Wyoming, was only an hour away and that I had time before my show to make the round trip. This is the trip that included my Most Epic Roll of Film Ever, which featured prominently in my South Dakota post, and the shots from Devil’s Tower practically earn that title on their own. It was a good day to have a roll of black and white film loaded into my Pentax K-1000.

Devils Tower, the mountain where the Close Encounters alien encounter is set, is a fascinating formation that’s the remnant of an ancient volcano core. You can see it from a dozen miles away, rising out of the flat landscape like a monument to the universe. Even before you get on the grounds of the National Monument you understand why it inspired legends in several Native American cultures. When you see it up close the giant granite columns look like pipe organs, or the fossilized remnants of an ancient machine.

On the other side of the state, the Yellowstone trip was also brief, only one night. That’s definitely not enough time to see a lot of the park, but I got to hit some of the big spots like Old Faithful and the edge of Golden Gate Canyon. I also saw a ton of wildlife like buffalo, elk, foxes, bear and more.

Both Devil’s Tower and Yellowstone are worthy bucket list entries. If you’re ever traveling through western South Dakota and think you want to stop at Mt. Rushmore outside of Rapid City, skip it and drive the extra hours to Devils Tower. It’s far more awe-inspiring than some heads carved into granite. And if you get to Yellowstone, give yourself a few days to see as much as you can.

So that’s a wrap on 50 states in 50 days! New York City is still shut down for at least a few more days, probably longer so I guess I’ll have to find some other project to pass the time. U.S. territories? I think I’ve only hit Puerto Rico and St. Thomas so far. Canadian provinces? I’m only 6 of 10 and none of the territories. Can’t wait to get back out there and add to the list!

Devils Tower, close, 1995
Selfie in Yellowstone on a snowy first day of summer, 2003
Old Faithful, 2003
National Park sign near Golden Gate Canyon, 2003
Buffalo in Yellowstone, 2003
Elk in Yellowstone, 2003
Devils Tower from miles away, 1995

May 10, 2020

All 50 States Day 49: Wisconsin!

All 50 States Day 49:

Wisconsin!

I grew up really close to Wisconsin, in Waukegan, Illinois. In fact, I just today learned that my childhood neighborhood is less than 10 miles from the state border (thank you google maps “measure distance” function). I always assumed it was farther because any trip to Kenosha, a town just across the border, was about 30 minutes door to door. I hit Kenosha often to visit friends and check out The Music Center, just off of Highway 50, where I got both of my Seagull acoustic guitars.

Growing up lots of people would go to Wisconsin for summer vacations or weekend getaways. People would simply describe the destination as “up north,” which could cover anything from Whitewater to Rhinelander, Door County to Superior. All of my camping trips during my 3-year tenure as a Boy Scout were in Wisconsin, a few weekends near Kenosha, and a week-long summer trip 4 hours deep into the center of the state.

As people from Illinois enjoyed the natural beauty the state, they engendered the kind of resentment that locals always develop for outsiders who recreate in their midst. FIBs is the common pejorative, an acronym for F***ing Illinois Bastard (it’s very clever), though the more tactful will use the polite term “flatlander.” I believe it’s wrong to stereotype and give a snide nickname to the entire population of a state but that’s Cheeseheads for ya.

As a professional comedian I did so many laps around America’s Dairyland that I lost count. I’ve done about every 2-year and 4-year campus in the UW system, except for UW in Madison, lousy Badgers! I’ve hit UW Superior, Eu Claire, River Falls, Green Bay, La Crosse, Platteville, Whitewater, Fox River, Fond du Lac and maybe a dozen others.

I once had a show at Milwaukee School of Engineering, a noon show in the student union building, and only afterward did I learn that the building used to house the production line for Blatz Brewery. The Blatz line was used in the opening montage of Laverne & Shirley, serving as the Shotz brewery where the characters worked. I had no idea I was performing on hallowed ground!

I’ve played a couple of comedy clubs in the state, a few gigs in Milwaukee and a weekend in Appleton; and back in my rock band days we played a few different venues in Milwaukee, including our first ever club gig as a band at the Odd Rock Cafe. That club is long gone but it inspired the name of my current comedy music variety show The Odd Rock Comedy Hour.

With cheap beer, tavern style pizza, and brats everywhere Wisconsin feels a lot like home, though as a born and bred Illinoisan (and die-hard Bears & Cubs fan) they would never accept me. I’ll have to settle for visiting as an outsider and enjoying the more affordable Cubs tickets at Miller Park.

Color Polaroid of Marsh Cheese Castle, 2009
Dangerous selfie at Lambeau Field, 2007
Schlitz & Pizza in Fond du Lac! 2007
Carthage College, 2012
A Steppingstones gig at the Stork Club in Milwaukee, early 90s
Blatz Brewery, Milwaukee, 2007
The Bradburys rocking Kenosha with lead singer of Off Broadway sitting in, 2012
Selfie at UW Green Bay, 2007
With fellow Cubs fans at Miller Park, 2015

May 9, 2020

All 50 States Day 48: West Virginia!

All 50 States Day 48:

West Virginia!

I landed my first gigs in West Virginia early in my touring career, some of the many shows I did in spring and fall of 1996 after showcasing at the Great Lakes Regional NACA Conference in October of 1995. One of my first shows in the state was at Davis & Elkins College in Elkins, and the school and town had an outdoorsy, crunchy, hippie-ish vibe that I dug. The state is a haven for mountain biking, rafting, hiking, camping, and the like, and there were enclaves and colleges that attracted people looking for those things.

Then again, there are drive-thru convenience stores where you literally drive your car through them! They look like car washes, but instead of soapy brushes and water jets there are bags of chips and 12-packs of beer. It is a many-faceted state.

The capital, Charleston, is right on a river with hills all around and there’s a gorgeous capitol building on the banks. I’ve played University of Charleston twice over the years, and on an early trip to the city I caught a minor league baseball game, the Charleston Alley Cats, at the time an affiliate of the Cincinnati Reds.

Concord College, in the tiny town of Athens, has had me in for shows on three or four occasions and since the small town is without a hotel I stayed in an on-campus guest room. This particular guest room was in the main office building for the school, a building that included some classrooms, so when I would wake up the next morning, on the later side as is my wont as a musician, I would trudge blearily to my car through an active work and educational site, an embarrassing way to start a day.

One of my least favorite shows ever was at a community college outside of Wheeling, a noontime show that was the first time I refused the check afterward. The show was in a loud student cafeteria and there was no sound system, just one mic plugged into the overhead cafeteria speakers, the same speakers used to announce when lunch orders were ready. I played for about 15-20 minutes, went into my closer and ended the show.

The student activities contact, who before the show said there was no other sound equipment available and asked why mics needed to be plugged in anyway, said that I had to do more time. I declined and she said I had to talk to her boss. The faculty guy whose office I ended up in tried to manage me, looking over the contract, saying that I was contracted to do 50-60 minutes and was there any way I would go back out and do some more time because he sure would hate it if I didn’t get paid. Since he was looking at the contract I pointed to the section that mandated a sound system operated by qualified personnel. While he tried to reformulate a new argument I told him to keep the check and I was heading out.

It was a season when I would sometimes have 8 or 9 shows in a 5-6 day period with shows every night and some noon shows the same day, so I wouldn’t miss the money that much. After a few more bad noon experiences, including shows where schools had me performing in the hallway because “more people would see me that way,” I developed a thicker skin and would plow through my hour of material regardless of the audience indifference or hostility. It became a contest and I wasn’t going to let the rude crowd keep me from getting my check.

But that was only one bad show mixed in with a lot more good ones, including schools that have had me back multiple times and treated me well. So West Virginia, when this pandemic is over, call me! I’ll definitely come back and rock the mountains!

State Capitol, Charleston, 1997
Drive through convenience store that you LITERALLY DRIVE THROUGH!, 2001
Crossing the Ohio River on I-470

May 8, 2020

All 50 States Day 47: Washington!

All 50 States Day 47:

Washington!

I landed in Seattle in the spring of 1997 for my first big trek through the Pacific Northwest and it was amazing. After showcasing at a NACA conference in the fall of 1996 I landed a bunch of shows, and that 3-week run in the spring of ’97 was a great introduction to the region. Not only did I see Montana, Idaho, Oregon, and Alaska, I got to see a good chunk of western Washington, from Longview to Bellingham, with stops in Everett, Olympia, Tacoma, Puyallup, and more.

In the central part of the state, where the Cascade Mountains give way to high desert, I’ve hit shows in Wenatchee, Omak, the Tri-Cities, and even a college in Moses Lake that was on the grounds of a decommissioned Air Force base. As a musician going to a gig on an Air Force base I couldn’t help but think of the movie This is Spinal Tap.

I remember driving in to Moses Lake, a small town with not much around, and despite the desolate location there was a steady stream of jumbo jets approaching, landing gear down, ready to touch down. I couldn’t figure out how such a sparsely populated area could have so much air traffic! Turns out the runways at the old Air Force base are used for touch-and-gos, a training maneuver where pilots land and immediately take off. So all of these jets were coming in for a landing and as soon as they touched down they were like “nope” and got the hell out.

I’ve also hit the eastern part of the state, playing Gonzaga U and Whitworth College in Spokane, and Eastern Washington University in Cheney. I had a fun corporate show in Spokane in 2014, but getting there was a challenge because just two days prior I performed for a Dutch public television show in Amsterdam. The day between shows I flew Amsterdam to London, London to Seattle, then Seattle to Spokane. The London to Seattle flight alone was 10 hours, but with the 8 hour time difference I made it to my hotel in Spokane (the lovely and historic Davenport Hotel, downtown) and was able to sleep for as long as I could before the show.

As for Seattle, I try to get there as often as I can. Whenever I have a stop in Vancouver I tack on a few days to hang out with friends in Seattle, and the last time I made the Vancouver to Seattle trip via bus. It was my first time crossing the border on a bus and was a good square to check off on my travel bingo card.

My name in lights! Centralia College, 2003
Olympia Beer at an outdoor bar near Seattle, 2018
Ready for an adventure in an IH Scout, 2017
Space Needle through binocular viewer, 2017
Rickshaw Restaurant, Seattle, 2018
There is sun in Seattle! 2018
B&W Polaroid of Seattle waterfront and ferris wheel, 2014
B&W Polaroid of downtown Spokane, 2014
Space Needle selfie, 2013

May 7, 2020

All 50 States Day 46: Virginia!

All 50 States Day 46:

Virginia!

The state’s license plates will have you believe Virginia is for lovers but it’s also for school trips to historical sites, many college and theater gigs, and for driving through to get to other places. Like many non-Virginians, my first time in the state was on a junior high trip to Washington D.C. which included stops at Colonial Williamsburg, Arlington National Cemetery, the Pentagon, and a Roy Rogers fast food establishment that called itself a “restaurant.”

I’ve been back to the state for many college gigs, including stops at the well known schools of College of William and Mary, George Mason, and University of Mary Washington. I’ve also played a bunch of smaller colleges and universities, like Radford University, Ferrum College, Bluefield College, not to mention Bluefield State College across the river in West Virginia.

I had a rollercoaster weekend in the state back in the spring of 1998 when I played University of Richmond on a Friday and Bridgewater College the following night. The show at Richmond was in a pub on campus and the event wasn’t well advertised or attended. There were a few people watching the show but there more frat boys watching the NCAA basketball tournament across the room at the bar. They were loud, drunk, and when the saw there was someone onstage trying to do a show to a tiny crowd, they were obnoxious.

I had been doing college shows for a few years by this point and I had done my fair share of noontime shows in the cafeterias of community colleges, so I was no stranger to plowing through 50 minutes of material in loud environments. I played to the group of people that were actually watching me and sent a few barbs to the back of the room while the rowdies yelled and hi-fived each other.

After the show one of the loud ones came up to me to, I don’t know, congratulate me? Tell me no hard feelings, it was all in fun, etc. Usually after shows I’m very polite and deferential but I told him to get lost. He seemed surprised and maybe even a little wounded. I was worried my saltiness might have come off as unprofessional but the student activities board member backed me up, which was nice.

The terrible experience at Richmond was more than made up for the next night at Bridgewater College, a small school in the Shenandoah Valley between the Blue Ridge and Allegheny Mountains. It was a dessert themed event in which the cafeteria laid out dozens of cakes and pies while the students gathered for a show. Being a small school in a small town with not much to do, and adding the prospect of a free sugar high, the show was packed. I performed for over an hour and had a great time playing to an enthusiastic crowd.

After the show a student came up to me and asked about the work shirt I was wearing. It was the 90s, I wore work shirts. He held up a big red safety coat with a reflective stripe on it and a logo for Giant Food grocery store on the back, and asked if I liked it. I said it was cool and he offered to give it to me.

I politely declined, not wanting to take the coat off of a college students back, but he said he worked there and had three of them. I offered him and his friends some CDs in exchange and for the next several years I proudly wore a bright red Giant Foods coat in the fall and winter. People from the mid-Atlantic would regularly ask about it and if I worked there, recognizing the logo from their hometown grocery stores.

The moral of the story is Bridgewater College was awesome and restored the faith in humanity I lost the night before at University of Richmond.

I also had a stop in Virginia for a show opening for George Carlin in March, 2008. It was in Porstmouth, near Norfolk, and was the first of a 3-show weekend that took me up to Harrisburg and then Jim Thorpe, Pennsylvania. So much driving!

Biscuitville! Danville, 2010
Stuck in the stockade, Colonial Williamsburg, year redacted
Freighter in Chesapeake Bay, 2008
Rifleman, Colonial Williamsburg, year redacted
1950s looking kitchen in Radford U’s on-campus accommodations, 2004
1950s living room in Radford U’s on-campus accommodations, 2004
Blurb from William & Mary paper, 2004
The famous Giant Foods red coat! Pictured in NYC in 1998 with Ritch Duncan and Lynn Harris, 1998

May 6, 2020

All 50 States Day 45: Vermont!

All 50 States Day 45:

Vermont!

Another post with no pics <Price Is Right loser horn><frowny face> But I’ve been there, done shows and spent the night so it counts!

I played Lyndon State on two different occasions, oddly on the same date: October 16. Once in 2003 and again in 2008. I also did a show at Castleton State College in 2008.

In the non-college arena I did a very random show for an outdoor social organizations’s ski weekend back in 2000. The show was in Stowe in a theater right in the middle of town during ski season. Not being a skier I didn’t hit the slopes, also had to drive back the next day, either for a show in NYC or a shift at the dayjob I was working at the time. Something very glamorous either way.

May 5, 2020

All 50 States Day 44: Utah!

All 50 States Day 44:

Utah!

I’ve made a couple of trips to Utah so far, the first was in August 2007 for an orientation show at Southern Utah University in Cedar City. In the vast expanse between Salt Lake City and Las Vegas, Cedar City is not only home to S.U.U. but also an annual Shakespeare festival, a fact I learned after the show when some theater people from the fest admitted they snuck into the show on campus.

For that first trip I went to Salt Lake City a few days early and did a comedy show at Moe’s Bar and Grill produced by SLC-based comedian Sina Amedson. I also had time to catch a Salt Lake City Bees minor league baseball game and even took the streetcar from downtown to the stadium.

Before heading back to SLC from Cedar City I drove to Zion National Park for a quick hike. I know I didn’t have time to see much of the park but what I did see was amazing.

I returned to Utah in May of 2008 to open a show for George Carlin at Abravanel Hall in Salt Lake City. It was a run of three shows–Salt Lake City, El Paso, and Anaheim—and it would end up being the last weekend I worked with George before he died. Abravanel Hall is a beautiful concert space with amazing sound. It’s the kind of place where you’re on stage and you feel like you don’t even need a sound system to reach the back of the room.

At the time Utah law didn’t technically allow bars so any place that served alcohol had to be a private club. If you wanted to go to a bar you could buy an annual or short term membership for a few bucks so the law didn’t really discourage drinking, but it did make me feel a little extra special because instead of just a patron you were now a member. Maybe that’s what the legislators wanted all along?

Selfie in Zion National Park, 2007
Zion National Park, 2007
Hiking trail near SLC, 2007
Hiking near SLC, 2007
Creek on hiking trail near SLC, 2007
Mormon Temple selfie, 2008
Flowers in Zion National Park, 2007

May 4, 2020

All 50 States Day 43: Texas!

All 50 States Day 43:

Texas!

Texas is huge and should count for like 4 states, and I’ve been lucky enough to see a lot of it over the years. My mom has lived in the Dallas/Fort Worth area since I was in high school and I’ve spent a ton of time with extended family there. Workwise I’ve done a few college tours which took me to the hill country, west Texas stops in Abilene and San Angelo, a week in the Rio Grande Valley, Nacadoches in the east, and up to the panhandle at Texas A&M Western in Canyon, Texas near Amarillo.

Austin, Texas, has been one of my Escape From New York fantasy towns for as long as I can remember. Any time I think about leaving New York for a less intense but still artistically stimulating place Austin is near the top of the list. My first experience with the city was visiting my college roommate just after we graduated and I’ve been hooked since. I’ve played a college gig there (at St. Edwards University not the enormous UT campus) and back in 2014 performed at the Out of Bounds Festival, which was one of my favorite performance fest experiences ever.

One of my shows opening for George Carlin was in El Paso on the western tip of Texas. You don’t appreciate how far Texas extends to the west until you have to get to or from El Paso. In fact, the drive from Phoenix to Dallas, which I made a few times on cross country trips, is 1,000 miles and 620 of those miles are in Texas, from El Paso to Dallas. Needless to say I flew to the Carlin gig because the night before we were in Salt Lake City (and the day after I did my last show with him in Anaheim, CA).

I also flew to El Paso when I had a show in Alpine, Texas, which is down near Big Bend National Park. Alipne is about 3.5 hours from El Paso and that’s still the closest airport. That show in Alpine also allowed me to make a stop in Marfa, a tiny town that’s become a bit of an artist colony over the years. It’s also famous for being the location for the James Dean/Rock Hudson/Elizabeth Taylor film Giant. The Hotel Paisano in downtown Marfa makes a lot of use of the fact that big stars stayed there and they named their pricier rooms after them. I didn’t spring for Rock or James’ suites though, I was probably in the Gaffer Room.

My most recent work-related trip to Texas was debarking a cruise ship in Galveston after a December voyage in the Caribbean. I got up before dawn to debark in time to make a flight, and as I got some air and coffee on the top deck I saw a very bright Venus in the eastern sky. Below it was another planet, I guessed either Jupiter or Saturn, and to confirm I opened my Planets app. The app said that Mercury was just next to Jupiter so I looked closer and sure enough there was a very faint pinpoint of light next to Jupiter. It’s the first time I ever saw Mercury and you can just make it out on the iPhone picture I took.

Longhorn steer, 2010
Austin Food Truck, 2014
Palace Theater, El Paso, 2008
Fort Worth Cats mascot, 2006
Venus, Jupiter, and Mercury, Galveston, 2018
View of mountain through binoculars, near Marfa, 2013
Me on the Grassy Knoll in Dallas, 2003
Mural of Eighter from Decatur, 2018
B&W Polaroid of Downtown Marfa, 2014
Corpus Christie, 2005
Food Truck, Marfa, 2014
Eva Longoria, Miss Texas A&M Kingsville 1996, pic from 2005
Pre-show in Brownsville, 2002
Moonrise over Eagle Mountain Lake, 2018
Crowd at Texas A&M Commerce, 2016

May 3, 2020

All 50 States Day 42: Tennessee!

All 50 States Day 42:

Tennessee!

As a musician, Nashville is a place you have to play at least once in your life just to say you did. I suppose most musicians have in mind a gig at the Lovebird Cafe or the Grand Ol’ Opry, not at a comedy club, but such is the case when you’re a comedy music person like me. I’ve played the Zanies in Nashville a few times over the years, it’s a wonderful club and I’ve always had a good time performing there.

I haven’t done as many college shows in Tennessee as some other states but I do remember a midnight show at Middle Tennessee State in Murfreesboro, I think it was part of their homecoming week. I also stopped for the night in Memphis on my way to some shows in Missouri or Arkansas. I only had time to do one touristy thing so I skipped Graceland and went to the National Civil Rights Museum at the Lorraine Motel. Next time through I hope to hit Sun Studios.

Approaching Nash-Vegas, 2010
Swett’s Diner, Nashville, 2010
Hanging with fellow comedy musician Kier, 2010
The Zanies in Nashville!

May 2, 2020

All 50 States Day 41: South Dakota!

All 50 States Day 41:

South Dakota!

My first trip to South Dakota I ended up spending the night riding out a blizzard in my car. It was April 1995 and I was on my way to a show at Black Hills State University which is so far west in South Dakota it’s only 12 miles shy of Wyoming. I left Chicago at noon the day before the show, planning to drive about 12 hours or so, get a hotel for the night somewhere around Rapid City and finish the drive the next day.

West of Sioux Falls it started to snow and it was looking like it could be one of those intense, heavy spring snowstorms that dump a foot of snow in about 5 minutes. As I stopped for gas approaching the middle of the state, where the Missouri River cuts across I-90, the snow started turning to rain so I filled up and pressed on. I climbed out of the valley of the Missouri River and the snow came back with a vengeance. It was piling up on the interstate and I tried to keep my tires in the tracks cut by the big trucks but my then-brand-new Honda Civic was so tiny I could only keep one side’s wheels in the tracks at a time.

I knew I had to pull over, but with so much snow on the ground it was hard to see where the shoulder was. Plus, I didn’t want to be out in the open and getting buried in the snow while the semis were still barreling down the interstate. I needed to press on to the next exit where I could at least pull off the interstate and hopefully park under the overpass. Being the middle of South Dakota, the next exit was about 5 miles away, and it felt like an eternity trudging along at about 25 mph while semis passed on the left kicking up so much snow it looked like I was driving through a car wash.

I was able to get to the exit and I pitched myself under the westbound lanes of I-90 near Reliance, SD. In front of me there was a semi parked under the eastbound lanes, which was reassuring because I figured the driver at least had a CB radio should we need assistance.

I pulled over around midnight and it snowed hard until about 10 am. Luckily with my mostly full tank of gas I was able to run the engine enough to stay warm. I listened to news radio hoping for weather updates but the only stations I got overnight were from Denver and even Oklahoma City. Super helpful. The plows showed up around noon and thanks to the shelter of the overpass no digging out was required. I headed back to Chamberlain to wait and see when the highway would reopen and to call the school and tell them I might not make the gig. We ended up rescheduling for the following September…

Which was another epic trip because it resulted in my most epic roll of film ever!

I’ve already posted one shot from that black and white roll of film that was loaded into my Pentax K-1000, it was of Carhenge in Nebraska, which I visited on after my make up date at Black Hills State. On my return trip to South Dakota my plan was to drive out a couple of days early, maybe stop at the Mitchell Corn Palace (a real thing) and, weather permitting, camp in the badlands for a night.

It was the weekend after Labor Day and the forecast called for sunny and 70s. I hit Mitchell, SD during the Corn Palace Festival when the streets were filled with carnival rides and funnel cake vendors. Then I made it to the Badlands, which was quiet at the beginning of the off season, and I set up my tent near a couple of other groups of young people: a group of 4 college age guys on a cross country trip, and two young women crossing the country to look at grad schools.

That night as the sun set in the west a full moon began to rise in the east and we went to a talk given by a park ranger. The next day we hiked around, and took a drive through an animal preserve to see a prairie dog town and a herd of buffalo up close. We all swapped info and I did get a postcard from the women, but it had no return address. It’s hard to believe in these days of social media that it’s even possible to loose touch with people but it was really easy in those days, especially in your early 20s when you moved and changed phone numbers every year or more.

I’ve done a lot of shows in South Dakota over the years, from Sioux Falls to Rapid City, from Yankton to Vermillion to Brookings to Madison… On days off in the area I would stay in Sioux Falls, which at the time was the Headquarters of Gateway Computers (which would be shipped in cowhide printed boxes) and the town had a hip, tech hub vibe and felt like a mini-Minneapolis. I even spent an off night going to a CBA game (Sioux Falls Sky Force vs. the Grand Rapids Thunder). Thanks to a food drive the team was running the admission price was a can of Dinty Moore Beef Stew, which I purchased 10 minutes earlier at a small grocery.

If I ever dig up my address books and contracts from those early touring days I’ll be able to officially document all of my stops in the state. Until then, enjoy these shots from my Most Epic Roll of Film Ever!

Shots from The Most Epic Roll of Film Ever!

May 1, 2020

All 50 States Day 40: South Carolina!

In the few times I’ve been to South Carolina I’ve gotten to see a decent chunk of the state. My first show in Palmetto land was in Myrtle Beach in 2004 at Coastal Carolina University, though the show was in February so the Beach part didn’t really come into play.

The next year I had a show in the western part of the state at USC–Aiken. I remember going to a bar after the show and being intrigued when the bartender poured my bourbon from one of those mini bottles you usually see on airplanes. I thought it was this bar’s gimmick but it turned out that according to South Carolina law that’s how liquor had to be poured statewide.

In 2010 I played a really fun show at USC in Columbia. When I got to my car after the show I found that the battery was dead and was mortified to have to call my student contact for a jump. That poor car had over 300K miles on it at the time and it was doing its best. And the car trouble couldn’t harsh the good vibes of the show, the student activities board even made up credentials with lanyards for it!

Most recently I played a corporate gig in Charleston in June 2017 and I got to see a bit of that lovely city. I got a view of the port, stayed at an older hotel right in downtown, and hit a rooftop restaurant for a reception before entertaining employees of a wire company.

Kickin’ it in Charleston, 2017
Old brick building in Charleston, 2017
Lanyard for show at U.S.C., 2010
State line, 2010

April 30, 2020

All 50 States Day 39: Rhode Island!

Rhode Isand is neither a road nor an island, discuss!

Whelp, we’ve hit upon another state for which I can’t find any personal pictures and again it’s because most of my work there was before the smartphone era of having a camera on your person 24/7. But I have performed there! I’ve done shows at Johnson & Wales University in Providence at least twice. I also did a show at Salve Regina in Newport, a town so damn fancy I was afraid to touch anything for fear I’d accidentally break something and wind up in debtor’s prison.

I did find a photo taken on a day I was flying to Rhode Island, so that’s about as close as I can get. I was at O’Hare airport for this pic dated Feb 23, 2008 and I took it because the tail of this USAir jet had the PSA logo on it. I remembered Pacific Southwest Airlines from long ago trips in California and hadn’t heard about it in years. According to my calendar I had a show at Bryant University that night between midwestern shows the previous weekend and a show in Dickinson, North Dakota two days later. Which means I flew back to Chicago and then drove 13 hours over the next day and half. Classic road itinerary!

The PSA logo an a USAir jet, 2008

OK, actual Rhode Island pic, of one of the ridiculous buildings on the Salve Regina campus

April 29, 2020

All 50 States Day 38: Pennsylvania!

All 50 States Day 38:

Pennsylvania!

As I’ve mentioned in my Ohio and Michigan posts, my first really busy season touring colleges was 1996–97 after showcasing at the Great Lakes NACA Conference, a region that included the western half of Pennsylvania. I must have played a dozen Pennsylvania schools in that initial run, and over the years I’ve probably played a dozen more. From small Penn State and Pitt extensions to private schools in every corner of the state. My favorite satellite campus? Pitt–Bradford, home of Zippo Windproof Lighters! Even went on the factory tour.

The first college gig I did after moving to NYC was at LaRoche College in Pittsburgh, and since I was living in a Manhattan sublet at the time and without my car, I took Amtrak from Penn Station to the gig. At one point west of Altoona a Park Ranger came aboard to lead a sightseeing tour, which included Horseshoe Curve and stories of the Johnstown flood as we passed.

Three of the shows I opened for George Carlin were in Pennsylvania. The first one that was officially scheduled—which turned out to be my second gig for him after a last-minute fill in at a show in New Hampshire—was at the Warner Theater in Erie. While I was doing my soundcheck the power went out. We thought it was the theater but it turned out to be all of downtown Erie. The crowd milled about outside, city and electric company workers came to figure out the problem, and eventually we got the show started. I had my DV video camera with me and used its Super Night Shot setting to get some grainy black-and-white video of a darkened downtown Erie, looking like I had entered a 1940s Noir film.

And like Ohio, I knew the 310-mile Pennsylvania stretch of I-80 incredibly well during my first years in New York. I made the drive from New York to Illinois more times than I could count, it was 840 miles door-to-door and I could do it in about 14 hours with breaks for food and gas.

Selfie in Pittsburgh and for some reason I’m displaying a modest wad of cash, 2008
Warner Theater marquee in Erie during blackout, 2007
Sepia toned Polaroid of friends at Rohman’s Inn in Shohola, 2012
Street view of York, the mini Baltimore! 2009
Crowd outside Warner Theater, Erie, 2007
Tow truck towing a tow truck at Arcadia University, 2009

April 28, 2020

All 50 States Day 37: Oregon!

All 50 States Day 37:

Oregon!

It’s been a while since I’ve been to Oregon but I got there early in my touring career, after showcasing at the Pacific Northwest NACA conference in late 1996. That showcase landed me a lot of shows throughout the region and I went there for a couple of big tours in the spring of ’97 and thereafter.

On one of those first trips to the area I met up with a high school friend who was living in Portland, who asked me to meet him at Powell’s Books. Meeting someone for coffee in Portland at the “world’s largest independent bookstore” is Peak 90s Northwest!

Thanks to the college gigs I’ve had the chance to see some different parts of the state, playing Portland State and University of Portland in Portlandia, Willamette, Linfield, and Western Oregon in the northwestern corner of the state, and Eastern Oregon out in Le Grande in the high desert eastern part of the state.

I also vividly remember driving to a show in Bend because for about an hour (or what felt like it) I had no idea what highway I was on. There were some turns and forks on a reservation that weren’t clearly marked and I wasn’t sure I was on the right highway. I kept waiting for a sign that would indicated 197 North, or 26 South, or whatever, but I was out in the middle of nowhere. There wasn’t any other traffic. It was desolate. This is the pre-smart phone era when we all had GPS in our pockets.

I finally saw a sign that said “Criterion Summit” so I pulled over at a little gravel pull off area on the side of the 2-lane undivided highway to take a look at my Rand McNally Road Atlas. I found Criterion Summit on the map, I was on the right highway. Then I looked at the little parking area and realized it had plaques in the ground with arrows pointing to the various peaks of Cascade mountains, which were all around. It showed the name of the peak and the elevation, and through some google map street view sleuthing I was able to figure out which peak was which in the photos I got there.

Criterion Summit with Mt. Adams in the background, 1997
Rainbow near Portland, 2004
Mt. Hood, 1997
Wider shot of Mt. Hood, 1997
View of Mt. Jefferson from Criterion Summit, 1997

April 27, 2020

All 50 States Day 36: Oklahoma!

All 50 States Day 36:

Oklahoma!

I had been through Oklahoma several times on cross country trips, since the route from my mom’s place near Fort Worth to my Grandma’s place in northwest Arkansas would take me through the eastern section of the Sooner State. I also performed there early in my comedy career, playing a show at Oklahoma State when I was still based in Chicago, which would mean it was in 1995 or ’96.

For one of my shows at Oklahoma State (I believe I performed there twice) I was told after the show that they had had Adam Sandler perform there the year prior and liked my show better. It was a point of pride at the time because Sandler was on SNL and getting all kinds of attention, and since I played guitar in my act I kept getting compared to him. They also said his show cost them $25K, and I think I made $800 for mine so maybe they just felt my show was more economical.

Other shows in the state have been at smaller schools like Cameron University in Lawton, and Phillips College in Enid, (which is no longer there) and I played one other big university—Tulsa—back in 2008.

On one of my early cross country trips I even got an alternator belt somewhere around Eufala when I was driving to my grandma’s house. The belt broke while driving and the battery was soon going to die, and I was lucky enough to find a service station with an available mechanic on a Sunday! Oklahoma, you really are OK!

OK state line, on my to a show at Cameron University, 2002
Rainbow near Tulsa, 1990
Hwy 69 sign, pic taken for purely juvenile reasons, 1990

April 26, 2020

All 50 States Day 35: Ohio!

All 50 States Day 35:

Ohio!

I went to Ohio early and often in my touring career, first hitting the state as a feature act at Connextions 2 in Toledo (you know the shows are funny because of the saucy spelling). I was based in Chicago and the booking agent in Grand Rapids, MI called to ask if I could pick up the headliner at Midway Airport to ride to Toledo with me. That headliner was ‘Wild’ Bill Bauer, an energetic and funny veteran comic who’d been a headliner since the comedy heyday of the 1980s. He was pleasant and supportive throughout the weekend and though I hadn’t seen him since the mid-90s during a week at ACME Comedy Company in Minneapolis, I was sad to hear of his passing in 2012.

My first big years performing at colleges were 1996–1997 and Ohio was a big part of that. I showcased at the Great Lakes NACA Conference, performing a 20-minute set for the student activities boards of colleges in Ohio, Michigan, West Virginia, and Western Pennsylvania. I booked so many shows after that conference there were some weeks where I’d have 9 shows in 5 days, doing a noontime show at a community college then another show that night at a school within a couple hours’ drive.

I had no idea how many colleges of one- to two thousand students there were in the state. I played everywhere from schools in cities like Capital University in Columbus, Xavier in Cincinnati, and Case Western in Cleveland, to schools in small towns like Muskingum University, Ashland University, Denison, Wilmington, Mt. Union. The list goes on.

There was a fun show at Kenyon College, a beautiful idyllic campus of old stone buildings atop a hill. I arrived early so I poked around the grounds and saw the game of Lacrosse in person for the first time. It seemed so New Englandy and preppie to me. I also remember staying in the lovely Kenyon Inn on campus, and that the show was well attended and opened by a campus improv group.

I also remember a show at Shawnee State in Portsmouth because I was fascinated that a small town had such a large area of mid-19th Century old buildings. The historic district struck me as something that should have been in a much larger city. Apparently Portsmouth, at the confluence of the Scioto and Ohio Rivers, had been a big, bustling city back in the 1800s when commerce flowed along the rivers and not by rail.

See? You learn things by traveling!