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Keep Your Jazz Hand Strong

Contrarian—Lyrics Video

Contrarian Poster Image

Contrarian is track 2 on 2013’s Keep Your Jazz Hand Strong! and I think it’s a really fun, upbeat tune. When I was recording it (here at my Brooklyn HQ) I was having a hard time really getting the energy up where I wanted it. I knew I had the right tempo but something was missing. Then I realized: I needed a hype man!

Every good ska band has a hype man! I was pressed for time though so I had to step in and be my own hype man (Be Your Own Hype Man is going to be the title of the self-help book I write in my retirement). I know I must have looked a fool jumping around my apartment trying to hype up a band that was also me, but it was a lot of fun and I hope that comes through on the track.

Lyrics-wise it’s a subject I’ve always wanted to tackle as I’ve had many friends over the years who have relished the role of contrarian, of finding out what everyone likes and decided to dislike it and like something else. Not because they truly like things, they just like liking what others don’t like.

O.K., now I’ve confused myself. Here are the lyrics:

Come on!

You always disagree!


I know a guy, he makes me quite irate
Anything I like he automatically hates
He’s a contrarian,
You can never be right!
He’s a contrarian

If all of his friends say they like a flick
He’ll say it was lame just to be a dick
He’s a contrarian,
“I don’t have to see the movie.”
He’s a contrarian

He’ll argue for days on end
Just because to him that’s fun
Never ending!
He’s a contrarian

He’ll say the opposite thing just to egg you on
If the whole room is pro, you know he’s gonna be con…
He’s a contrarian,
Everybody’s always wrong!
He’s a contrarian

He never takes time to think things through
He just disagrees because he thinks he’s better than you
He’s a contrarian,
“Pfff, yeah, you’d think that.”
He’s a contrarian

He could score less points than you and somehow say he won
“I played smarter.”
He’s a contrarian

Watch him now!

None of his beliefs are held deeply
It’s all on the surface!
Blindly choosing the opposite takes no thought
It’s so predictable!
If all of his friends became contrarians like him
He’d say, “oh, that’s what you are? Then I’m not.”

He’ll spend all day quoting useless facts,
All of his videos are Betamax
He’s a contrarian,
“It’s a superior technology”
He’s a contrarian
“It’s not that inconvenient.”

Any agreement just makes him tense
So he’ll argue things that don’t make sense
He’s a contrarian,
“I just don’t think puppies are that cute.”
He’s a contrarian
“Sunshine? Bah!”

He would join the NRA just to say he doesn’t like guns
Bwoh! Bwoh! Bwoh!
He’s a contrary…
He’s a contrary…
A very, very contrarian

My iTunes reviews are getting a little strange…




I’m always excited—and a little nervous—when I get a new iTunes review, but lately things are getting just plain weird. People seem to be liking the album but they’re also reporting some side effects that are… unexpected.

The first reviewer seems to be having seizures whenever he hears the intro to “Tech Support for Mom and Dad” another person kept getting cuts on his/her hand from the packaging.

And another reviewer experienced something really disturbing:

I’ve been a fan of Rob’s since BEFORE the Pachelbel rant (he played my school. He is awesome Iive!) and this new album really delivers. So rare to have good  original music that actually rocks. The only bad thing I can say about it is that it kills birds.

I wish that last part wasn’t true but OMG birds die when they hear this album. There must be some sort of ultrasonic stuff happening in the mix? IDK but at first I thought it was a coincidence because I live it1 suburbia and hey ~ sometimes you find a dead bird. Maybe a cat brought it~ right?

But no. Once I started listening regularly it started happening more and more. A coupIe of times I hear like a THUD and it’s a sparrow actually hitting the window of the room I’m Iistening in. Also happened on my windshield. Mostly sparrows, but, Iike, songbirds too. It’s gotten to the point where if I want to listen to KYJHS I do it with headphones onIy  because otherwise I feel like a murderer.

Anyway, great stuff, “Applewood” and “I Poop Gold” are completely lol funny. But headphones are HIGHLY recommended.

I’m going to be looking into this some more, and hopefully I can find an entertainment lawyer who has some experience in product liability should the need arise.

If you’ve had any issues with the new album let me know, either here or on iTunes, and I’ll get my case workers on it.

On the upside, despite the problems I’m getting a fair amount of 5-star reviews so, a cautious “yeah!”?


Tech Support For Mom & Dad [live clip]

Rob on stage with guitar

Recorded live at the UCBEast Theater in NYC, this song is for anyone who has had to spend a chunk of the time while visiting their parents helping them with their computer problems. It’s o.k., we understand. And if you’re the kind of person who likes to sing along, here are the lyrics:

Tech Support For Mom & Dad

I’m doing tech support for Mom & Dad
‘Cause I’m from the freaking future
Every time I visit them
I have to fix their darn computer
They should have a service plan
But they’re too frugal
They think I know my stuff
But I just use google

Seriously, just google the problem and you’ll find a solution out there somewhere. But don’t go to Yahoo Answers, those people are idiots.

But I really should help Mom because
She helped me with college
And since I have a Lit degree
I have to prove I have some useful knowledge
And it gives me the chance to go in and erase all those
Old embarrassing family photos

You know the ones, where you’re naked, taking a bath, in the sink. Try to find it now, I put it in a protected directory and you don’t have the right permissions! Ha ha ha ha!

Tech support for Mom & Dad
Whenever I visit them they get glad
‘Cause I’m the only geek they had
Tech support for Mom & Dad
Tech support for Mom & Dad
Tech support for Mom & Dad

©2011 Paravonian

Kickstarter Rewards Fulfilled!

Yesterday I got the last batch of kickstarter packages sent off to the folks that opted for physical CDs and I’d like to give one last hearty “thank you” to everyone who participated in funding the project. The support was wide-ranging and I sent CDs to over 80 people in 11 countries!

Signed copies of the CD
The exclisive, numbered and signed copiesd


The CDs were hand-numbered and signed, and the numbers ranged from 1 to 82. CD #1 went to my good friend Alan Rovner, and I’m sure it’s only a matter of time until the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame tries to track him down to get their hands on it.

Rewards Packages
Stamped and ready to go

There were many bubble mailers involved, and for a couple of days my apartment looked like an office supply store exploded, but by Friday morning the domestic packages went out and yesterday the international packages—going to destinations from Australia to Finland—had their turn, after some unfortunate sticker shock at the Post Office…

Apparently since the last time I mailed a CD internationally (last fall) the US Post Office changed the designation of bubble mailers from “large envelope” to “package” thus raising the price for mailing a 3-ounce CD envelope from $3.75 to $9.45, a 250% increase. So all of the time I spent weighing the packages and buying postage ahead of time was pretty much wasted. Such is the price of international rock stardom.

One other unexpected challenge led me to give up on trying to include a polaroid of me signing the first 10 CDs. I tried a couple of shots and they ended up looking like there was some sort of creepy hostage situation going on, which wouldn’t have been fun for anyone, so I swapped in the lovely 4-color stickers with the cover art, which I think you’ll agree are much more pleasing to the eye.

Abandoned Polaroid project
Creepy Hostage Situation
Cover art sticker
cover art sticker, much less creepy

And now that the wonderfully generous kickstarter supporters have gotten their CDs, it’s everyone else’s turn! Keep Your Jazz Hand Strong will be available Tuesday, June 4 on, Amazon and more!

Keep Your Jazz Hand Strong release imminent!

The discs have officially been delivered to the RobPRocks warehouse facility (the basement of our undisclosed Midwestern complex) and they are being readied for shipment to our distribution partners. That means on (or before depending on iTunes) June 4, 2013, you’ll be able to get your jazz hands on Keep Your Jazz Hand Strong!

We’re also putting the finishing touches on the video for the first single, which should be posted early next week!

For all of my wonderful kickstarter supporters, the download codes for the digital versions of the rewards will be emailed early this week and the physical merch (the CDs, DVDs and more) will be shipped this week and early next.

As soon as the links are live we’ll post them here and on the new official site for the album,

Is this going to be the best summer ever? I simply don’t see how it won’t be!

© Paravonian