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Somewhere Else Lyric & Karaoke Video!

Somewhere Else

Are you an American who wants to travel overseas but wants to avoid talking politics and the embarrassment of being attached to Trump and his policies? Then this is the song for you!

I wrote it back in 2017 and I’m re-upping it now because I’m feeling this times a million.

Here’s the lyric video I just made for it. Listen! Laugh! Cry! Sing along!

And here’s a karaoke version, so you can perform it at your school’s talent show! A local open mic! When you’re trying to filibuster fascist bills in the legislature!

And here’s the original official music video from 2017, directed by Victor Varnado and featuring backup dancers!

While I’m very sad this song is relevant again I am proud of the writing and arranging. I recorded the whole thing in my home studio and am particularly proud of the bass track. No timing tweaks! Just punched in where I needed to. It’s so upbeat and frenetic I jokingly referred to it as the “cocaine bass line,” picturing a Tom Jones style lounge band playing a casino in Vegas in the late 60s and chemical augmentation being the only explanation for how the bass part was created.

So take a moment to enjoy the music, and then we’ll get back out there to work to restore democracy.

Two Funny Videos about Economics?

An Economics Duology!

You can’t make fun of American culture without making fun of the way we put commerce above everything. “The business of America is business!” said one of our presidents*. So I’m posting a couple of business-related songs from my recent special as standalone videos, mostly because they turned out really good and I’m proud of them, but also because they compliment each other really well in a one-two punch of satire, digging into some of our underlying cultural beliefs that have formed this culture we’re swimming in .

The Invisible Hand of the Market! 👻

One of those cultural beliefs is found in the metaphor of the invisible hand—the belief that free markets are guided “as if by an invisible hand” to produce the most equitable distribution of goods and wealth and thus the best of all possible worlds. It’s a belief held by those politicians who tell you regulations are the enemy of progress, freedom, and prosperity. They have an unwavering and almost religious belief that if you let people and companies pursue their self interest things will just work out.

When someone tells you “we don’t need laws telling industries not to pollute, the invisible hand of the market is in control!” it sounds less like economic theory and more like there’s a shadowy villain organization like Spectre or Quantum called The Invisible Hand running things.

So that’s why I wrote The Invisible Hand in the style of a James Bond theme song, with amazing video design by Steven Rosenthal.

Corporations Are People Too!

Another odd economic belief we have here in America is that corporations are treated like persons in the eyes of the law. It’s why a company like Hobby Lobby can say they have religious beliefs that allow them to deny birth control coverage in their health care plan. And it’s also how corporations get away with spending billions to support political candidates: their money is considered speech, to which they have a constitutional right because they’re persons!

This idea of corporate personhood gets so ridiculous I had to make fun of it the best way I knew how: with a sunshine pop animated video in the style of Schoolhouse Rock! Character design and illustration are by my good friend and great artist Dan Pavelich (check out his TeePublic store!)

If you want a little more backstory—and more jokes!—on these topics check out the intro monologues in the full special! Or better yet, check out the whole special! There are songs about the Satanic Panic, Henry Ford, 19th Century minstrel shows and how they kind of relate to current laws that try to control the way we teach the history of race in America…

*the full quote is “the chief business of the American people is business,” from Calvin Coolidge, 1925.

Nostalgia! Great for music, terrible for policy!

🎶 Let’s go back to mid-century…” 🎶

Recently something said by a member of Congress from Wisconsin caught my ear because it perfectly exemplified the mentality I make fun of in the opening song of my new comedy special. He said he hoped there was a plan in place for January of 2025 to get the country back to where we were in the 1960s. That would be great if you were a 12-year-old Beatle fan but not great if you were black, a woman, a draft-eligible young man, gay, or someone who would prefer not to ponder nuclear war every day.

But nostalgia is about emotion, not facts; and it’s a mixed emotion. It’s like a sad longing mixed with a dose of comfort. And people can not only feel nostalgia for times in their past (even if those times weren’t always great, like middle school) but can feel nostalgia for times they never lived in or things that never happened. That’s because memory and imagination are intertwined in our brains, using a lot of the same circuitry.

“Were those really the days?”

A common ploy of politicians is to take the emotions triggered by nostalgia and use them to gain support. Fascists have used this tactic over and over.

“We must reclaim our imagined past!”

The trick is to mythologize the past, make people sad that the mythologized past doesn’t exist, blame an out group for destroying that past, and use that stoked anger to rise to power. The Nazis did it by creating a mythologized past of Teutonic greatness and blamed its downfall on Romani, homosexuals, and Jewish people. Currently in the US the GOP blames the loss of a past that never existed on “woke,” which is a handy term that can encompass anything they don’t like. Woke starts by meaning the black community, gay community, trans community, and extends to feminists and people who believe in global warming.

So enjoy the emotions brought on by nostalgia when remembering childhood friends, or maybe fairs and events in your hometown, but be wary when someone tries to use nostalgia to blame a group of people for why things suck. If someone wants your support, ask for specific policy ideas, not feel-good imaginings. And when they say that we need to go back to the way things were, find out who they mean by “we.”

“…or is this just a power play hidden in a nostalgic haze?”

And now, please enjoy the stand-alone music video of “Were Those Really the Days?” an upbeat, Brill Building era tune that plays with the idea of nostalgia and its (ab)use by people seeking power. Or better yet, check out the whole special, The American Songbook: Redacted on YouTube!

The New Special is Here!

The new video special is out! It’s available on YouTube right this very second and I’m super excited for you to see it!

It’s just over 2 years to the day since I first performed this set of songs to see if there was anything to this idea of doing a whole show of satirical comedy songs based on U.S. History and culture. The show went well and inspired me to do a fully-arranged studio album of the songs and to create a solo theater show around them.

Taking that show to the Edmonton Fringe last summer allowed me to really tighten and punch up the monologues and to perfect the overall flow of the set. At the end of the fringe run I knew I had to create a version of the show that could live online for everyone to see.

And now, it’s here!

Using the full arrangements of the songs from the album and some fun animation, graphics, and live action, I have what I think is a really solid comedy special. It’s not a live concert video like most standup specials, but being a musician in the comedy world has always led me to do things a little differently. A friend who’s a huge movie and TV buff said it sounds like it’s my Elephant Parts, which was a sketch/music/video comedy film by former Monkee Mike Nesmith, and if you know it, it’s a perfect comparison.

Give it a look, I think you’ll like it! And if you know any comedy and/or music nerds, pass it along! Word of mouth > algorithms!

Crowd work clips are all the rage!

If you, like me, follow a lot of comedians on instagram or tiktok, you’re seeing tons of clips of comics doing crowd work at their shows. It’s almost to the point that anytime someone in the audience coughs the comic rushes to react so they can post the clip on their socials, just to keep the flow of ‘content’ going.

Crowd work clips are so prevalent the Washington Post even mentions them in their article about tiktok and standup! (That’s a gift link to get you through the paywall, because I’m a giver!)

Crowd work has never really been my thing but I can’t resist making fun of a trend so I wrote a song called “Crowd Work” and left it at that. Enjoy!

Great Big Beautiful World guitar tutorials

Jazz Guitar tutorial

One of my favorite songs on the new album is Great Big Beautiful World, a bossa nova inspired mellow ballad that I really like playing. I like playing it so much I want to teach people how to do it!

This is the jazz/electric guitar version, which is the featured instrument on the recording. I also made a tutorial for an acoustic guitar version, which is a little simpler and has more open chords that sound good on acoustic. That’s below.

To help with the chords I made lead sheets that have guitar chord diagrams, here’s the jazz guitar lead sheet, and the acoustic lead sheet.

This is my first attempt at a legit guitar tutorial, let me know what you think!

Acoustic Guitar tutorial

Great Big Beautiful World live in studio

One of my favorite songs on The Opposite of Afterglow, the new album from The Green L.E.D.s project, is the bossa nova infused ballad Great Big Beautiful World. It’s probably the one I’m the most proud of too. I really like the chord progression and I think the melody weaves through it and ties it together nicely.

I’m also really happy with the lyrics. Not only do they match the feel of the music, they express something I’ve been feeling a lot the last several years—a peaceful awe of being in the moment infused with a dose of melancholy from being aware of the absolute shit-show we humans make of this place.

Anyway, enough of me talking about it, lemme play it:

Learn how to play the song here!

Back in the day whenever I would post a clip of me playing something, someone would inevitably comment “tabs,” demanding guitar tabs for whatever I played. Since I like this song so much and would be beyond flattered and thrilled if anyone else wanted to play it, I made not 1 but 2 guitar tutorials for it! The first tutorial is for the jazz guitar version I play here, the second is an acoustic guitar version that uses more open chords and is a little simpler. (It’s the acoustic guitar part layered in the background of the studio recording). Check ’em out and play along!

Life is a Drag!

I’m not a drag act but I’m really annoyed with all of the anger, vitriol, and threats that have been hurled at them lately so I wrote this song.

On the upside, a Federal judge struck down a Tennessee law banning drag shows, and hopefully the moral panickers will come to their senses soon and worry about things that are actually dangerous in the real world, not just their fevered imaginations.

Anyhoo, I hope you enjoy the tune. Music, lyrics, and arrangement by me; hair & makeup by snapchat and TikTok filters.

Beep! Beep! Outta the Way! Lyric Video!

In the year of our Ford…

Car maker, industrialist, and noted anti-semite Henry Ford hated the jazz music that was popular in the late teens and twenties. And like most things he hated he figured jazz’s popularity was due to a Jewish conspiracy. Ford’s paper, The Dearborn Independent, printed weekly anti-Jewish essays for 91 straight weeks. Those essays were popular in Germany in the 1930s which is not a ringing endorsement of one’s values.

Two of those essays centered on jazz music and how it was immoral, corrupting “moron music” that was being forced on American by Jewish song trusts out to make money and ruin the country from within.

So to make fun of Ford for this insane belief—and to remind everyone what a jerk he was about it—I wrote him a 1920s-style jazz song. Enjoy!

Videos from The American Songbook: Redacted!

All the vids in one place!

Since the release of The American Songbook: Redacted studio album back in October I’ve been working on videos for the songs, with the goal of eventually putting them together with introductions and wraparound material from the live show for a complete visual album. In the meantime I thought, ”wouldn’t it be great if there were a place where all the released videos were nicely organized so people could easily enjoy them?”

So I did that! It’s right here! I’ll add to this post as new videos come out. Enjoy!

Beep! Beep! Outta the Way!

Henry Ford, the car guy, was so revered that he offered his opinions on subjects outside of the auto industry. To that end, he bought the Dearborn Independent to disseminate his views, including his hatred of the new popular music “jazz” that the kids were listening and dancing to. And like everything Henry Ford hated, he blamed it on Jewish people.

So, to make fun of him for his dislike of jazz, and to remind everyone what a dick he was about it, I wrote him this jazz song. Enjoy!

Plug Your Ears and Sing!

Stephen Foster was one of America’s first songwriting superstars, and a lot of his songs were written for the minstrel shows of the 1850s, since they were the predominant form of popular entertainment in the 19th Century. We don’t learn much about that history, or the history of racism in the U.S., and with several states enacting laws banning the teaching of divisive concepts, we’re ensuring that the next generation will learn even less.

So that’s what I wrote my Foster-style song about: people being so uncomfortable with history they’d rather it not be taught at all. Some people would prefer you just Plug Your Ears and Sing!

The Ballad of Lou Pearlman

Fraudsters and con artists are as ingrained in U.S. history as robber barons, pioneers, inventors, and innovators. In a country that celebrates outside-the-box thinkers, sometimes people think outside the box of what’s legal. They’re the flipside of baseball, hot dogs, apple pie and Chevrolet (more about Henry Ford soon).

So when it came time to pick an American fraudster to profile in The American Songbook: Redacted (let’s do AS:R from here on out) I had plenty to choose from. Madoff? Boring. Ponzi? Fascinating! But there was one guy who did something with the money he conned that no one else did. He gave us boybands!

Behold, The Ballad of Lou Pearlman!

Corporations Are People Too!

I wanted to make sure there was at least one really peppy, uplifting number in AS:R so I took inspiration from some of the sunshine pop of the 60s and 70s, songs like Age of Aquarius, Up With People, Kids are People Too! Subject-wise I wanted to tackle a concept that has long fascinated and aggravated me: corporate personhood.

With the help of my good friend Dan Pavelich, who did the amazing illustrations and character design, I came up with this bubbly, overly-optimistic tune Corporations Are People Too!

The Invisible Hand

In addition to history I wanted to examine some fundamental myths we have as a culture, and one of the big ones for us is that the free market will create the best of all possible worlds. From Reagan to tech-bro libertarians there is an unquestioned (and unprovable) belief that letting everyone pursue their own self interest will result in an efficient and just distribution of resources.

This concept is summed up in Scottish philosopher Adam Smith’s metaphor of “the invisible hand.” As in: the market will be guided as if by an invisible hand to the best possible outcomes.

To me “the invisible hand” sounds less like a metaphor for capitalism and more like a villainous organization in a James Bond movie, so I decided to write a James Bond-style movie theme on the subject. I’m incredibly proud of the arrangement I did for the song on the album and absolutely blown away by the visuals my friends Peggy & Steve put together for the video.

Cue voiceover by Don LaFontaine: “In a world where events are controlled by an unseeable force, one man… must fight… to make fun of it all…”

The Invisible Hand

The Great Disappointment of 1844

The end of the world, specifically people interpreting the Book of Revelation to try to predict it, is an idea deeply embedded in the American psyche, and I don’t think we truly appreciate how much it informs a lot of people’s worldview. Growing up my dad watched a lot of evangelical Christian shows and read a lot of books like The Late Great Planet Earth, that tied current events to various Bible prophesies.

Everyone who’s ever predicted the end of the world has one thing in common: they’ve all been wrong. Including the time in 1844 when so many people were convinced the world was going to end within the year that when it didn’t it was called The Great Disappointment.

And since “Great Disappointment” makes a great title for an emo song, not to mention that waiting for a Second Coming has the angsty teen vibes of waiting for your parents to pick you up a the movies, I wrote an emo song about it.

The Great Disappointment of 1844

The People That Were Already Here

Another concept that looms large in the American personality is the Frontier Myth, the idea that America is an open land of opportunity where rugged individuals will succeed if they are strong and have the grit. While that’s a lovely idea it completely overlooks the fact that there were tons of people already living in the American west so it wasn’t exactly wide open, available land.

Stories and songs about cowboys and western adventurers were hugely popular in America, from the river towns of the Midwest to the cities back east. So to examine this myth, and to bump it up against the reality of western expansion, I wrote a western song. I even played a lap steel!

The video came out on a bank holiday in mid-October, now known as Indigenous Peoples’ Day, and the background picture is one I actually took down in Marfa, Texas!

Please enjoy The People That Were Already Here

Satanic Panic

In the 80s & 90s there was a moral panic in which accusations of ritual satanic abuse got so out of hand people were convicted of crimes on no evidence and entire communities turned against each other. It got thrown into overdrive by a debunked memoir called Michelle Remembers, and fueled by sensationalist coverage everywhere from Geraldo to 60 minutes.

Soon people were looking for the devil everywhere, including in heavy metal music, which makes heavy metal the perfect genre with which to satirize this ridiculousness.

It’s a subject that needs to be ridiculed because people are still throwing accusations of devils and demons today (I’m looking at you Lauren Boebert,) so I implore you no to forget the  Satanic Panic

Plug Your Ears and Sing!

Plug Your Ears and Sing!

old timey style photo of person plugging their earsDid you know the state song of Florida, “Old Folks at Home,” was written for a minstrel show? That’s not even an April Fool’s joke, that’s the dog’s honest truth!

So for this year’s April 1st festivities, I figured why not try to get Florida to replace their outdated song with the Stephen Foster-style song “Plug Your Ears and Sing!” from my latest show and album? Even better, my song is about being so uncomfortable with the history of racism in the U.S. that people don’t want it to be taught in schools in places like… Florida! (and Virginia, Texas, Arkansas, oh there are too many to mention)

So this year instead of swapping the salt and the sugar, or putting the Rice Krispies in the Cherrios box, let’s lobby the state of Florida to get rid of the song that had people “still longin’ for the old plantation” and replace it with Plug Your Ears and Sing! It perfectly sums up what their government wants teachers to do when the subject of racism comes up so it should be a slam dunk.

You can even use the handy poster at the bottom of this page for your socials!

Either way, enjoy the song and video, I bought a cheap wig and a set of 6 fake mustaches for it!

April-Fools-PYEAS-promo-Poster

The Ballad of Lou Pearlman–Lyric Video

The latest video from The American Songbook: Redacted is up!

The song is inspired by my fascination with fraudsters–from Ponzi to Theranos and everything in between. Our culture’s idolization of financial success mixed with our belief that you can always reinvent yourself and “fake it ‘til you make it” (a phrase that originated in a multi-level marketing scheme) makes the U.S. fertile ground for schemers, charlatans, and con artists.

But when it came time to choose which con-artist to sing about in my show, the deciding factor was that Lou Pearlman did something with the money that he stole that no one else did: he gave us boy bands.

Friends, I give you  “The Ballad of Lou Pearlman!”

Corporations Are People Too!

Corporations Are People Too!

Here’s my new lyric video for Corporations Are People Too! is out! It’s the peppiest, grooviest, upliftingest track from my latest album The American Songbook: Redacted, and the video is a collaboration with Dan Pavelich, a multi-talented artist and good friend.

What on Earth does Corporations Are People Too! even mean?

Remember when Mitt Romney said, “corporations are people, my friend”? He was referring to the concept of corporate personhood, which can make sense when needing an entity to sign a contract, but gets weird when the Supreme Court says their personhood entitles them to religious beliefs.

So I decided to make fun of this concept the best way I know how: a comedy song!

Inspired by the sunshine pop of the 60s and 70s, I’m really happy with the way this arrangement came together. And sticking with that era as inspiration, I asked Dan to create illustrations in the style of Hanna Barbara, Schoolhouse Rock, and a lot of the other stuff we Gen-Xers grew up with. He totally nailed the style and I couldn’t be happier with this video.

I hope you like it, and check out the other tunes on the album!

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The Great Disappointment of 1844 Lyric Video

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“The People Who Were Already Here” Lyric Video

SatanicPanicLyricVidPoster

Satanic Panic Lyric Video

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Catching Rays (on the Fire Escape) Quarantine Music Video!

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Driving With Grandpa—Live Album Lyric Video

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Armenians in Media—Live Album Lyric Video

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Live in Lausanne!

The Invisible Hand — Lyric Video!

The Invisible Hand! Lyric video released!

I don’t know if Scottish philosopher and economist Adam Smith meant for his metaphor of “The Invisible Hand” to sound as creepy as it does, but to me it sounds like a criminal organization in a James Bond movie. So when I wanted to satirize the concept of the invisible hand in my show and album The American Songbook: Redacted, I figured the best way to do it would be in the style of a James Bond title sequence!

Musically I’m really proud of the arrangement on the album, I did my best to capture the campy swagger of classic 60s/70s James Bond movies and those iconic John Barry soundtracks. My good friends Peggy O’Brien & Steven Rosenthal, both funny and talented filmmakers, offered to put together a title sequence style video for my live show, and when I saw how amazing the video turned out I knew I had to make it into a lyric video.

It’s the 4th lyric video from The American Songbook: Redacted, after Satanic Panic, The People Who Were Already Here, and The Great Disappointment of 1844. I have more coming, including some other collaborations that I’m really excited about.

Until then, enjoy The Invisible Hand!

Great Disappointment Lyric Video!

Watch The Great Disappointment Lyric Video

The Great Disappointment is a thing that actually happened, when a Bible scholar convinced thousands of people that the 2nd Coming was going to happen in 1843 or 1844. Dates came and went, and the final, for sure, no-doubt-about-it date of October 22, 1844 passed with nothing happening.

Some people lost faith, some people redoubled their faith, and some people said that something did happen that day but no one saw it. Either way, “The Great Disappointment” makes a good title for an emo rock song, so that’s what I set out to make. Another band uses the name for a song that’s not ostensibly about the historical event so I added “of 1844” to be specific and differentiate.

From The American Songbook: Redacted! Available on bandcamp, spotify, Apple Music, and limited CDs available here at our online store!

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